To be in the children’s memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today- Barbara Johnson
In today’s era we all have expectations for our children. We are all toiling for their future… Maybe we forget giving time is also needed for their holistic development. In my experience, children always behave the way they do for a good reason. Sometimes we can’t figure out that so we simply blame the child. That seems to be the easy way out. This doesn’t mean to say that the child shouldn’t be held accountable for his / her actions or behaviour.The child might be acting out to hide or overcome a bad experience. As a counselor the solutions are found when the puzzle is unraveled…
I find parenting to be the toughest loveable job…But even harder is positive parenting because you have to think twice and remain in control of yourself while under fire, which can be challenging when your kid is acting out. Those parents who simply lash out at their kids are teaching them impulsive lack of control, exactly the opposite of what we should teach our kids. In the long run yelling doesn’t work and only hides the problem. When we yell and intimidate kids, we lose their respect and the same behavior is manifested in school and as they grow up to be adults.
Here is where school counselors can guide and help you. Counseling is seen as the last resort because many stigmas are generated approaching a counselor. Maybe fear of labeling or societal pressure prevents you from seeking help. Counselors are not monsters but human beings who have dedicated our life to help individuals reach their full potential. Many children are diagnosed with Learning disorders and various Behavioral issues. These kids always stand outside the normal circle created by our fickle mind. Parents need to understand that counselors do not really solve problems or give advice but suggest effective techniques to create an atmosphere that allows love, care and concern that parents give their children to be shown in a way that works for everyone. Basically counseling is about listening, perceiving eternal stimuli and deciphering the problem and making the individual see the problem objectively and in the right perceptive. In the end the child acquires the life skills and techniques learnt and in turn start to solve the problem by themselves. Hence making them independent to make their own decisions and cope with all life stressors with a positive attitude. That is why life skills are the need of the hour.
I would like you to ponder over….empathize and be more patient in this fast growing tech, no family time modern world. Maybe we will have the heart and time to listen to our children and be more positive in all aspects of life for their mental health. Happy children make better leaders and tomorrow’s future.