Padmaja Vikas Chavan
12 B
The realism she aligns with aspirations,
Imposing the passionate need of perspirations,
Making me endless such is her pleasure,
Bestowing the illumination of acuity as treasure,
My ignorance dies in shame ;
For my pride it was to blame
I request her indulgence
My beliefs, I ask her ; for an acceptance
What a plethora of emptiness, do I bear
She does fill me with judgments, I owe mere
I am in a company of companionless
I find myself what emptiness, I have, nonetheless
Heavy are my shame and secrets
Of the failures that still are great…
It is indeed a straight-from-heart poem and and the raw emotions conveyed in the last 2 lines are a testimony of the same. If there is something I would like to suggest, it would be the lesser use of heavier words like ‘acuity’ which suits a prose but not a poem especially when it talks about emotions. For example, ‘perspiration’, ‘evaporation’, ‘transpiration’, etc. are technical terms in true sense and not literary.
The interesting part is that when you read this poem backwards, it gives a more abstract idea. Keep it up!
Thank you so much